Chubby Cuddly Angel
March 11, 2004 - 9:41 a.m.
Marlee,
You are into everything. You are so inquisitive, exploring the world with your hands (and your mouth!). Fascinated by the simplest of things and determined to master them.
You make funny little faces and silly sounds...I was so upset when I realized you had stopped making my favorite "funny face" but it was soon replaced by a new one. Sitting in the tub last night, you went after a floating starfish toy, though your hands clumsily fumbled and dropped it repeatedly, you followed it around in the water until you caught a grasp and stuffed it into your mouth. I sat and watch, amazed at your tiny abilities, how far you've come in these few short months. Soon these will become seamless operations, without a thought or care, but for today you'll tirelessly conquer it one step at a time.
Love,
Mommy
The temper tantrums are starting. When Marlee gets mad or frustrated, she starts hitting - you, whatever is in front of her, herself. Both arms, she pounds things like she's King Kong. She's BIG on blowing bubbles and making funny noises with her lips - and she's just discovered that she can spit. She also sat unsupported the entire time I was reading to her last night. Sometimes she would lean on her arms, other times she would stick her arms out to the side and wobble a little.
I was showing Tim how she could sit on her own, and I was holding her from behind so she couldn't throw herself back. One minute she had her hands out in front of her, and I never thought to hold her from falling forward. She did - flat on her face. The first time I've ever really heard an immediate pain cry - heartwrenching.
The next night, I was upstairs and Tim had taken Marlee out of her crib and went downstairs with her. I heard him go outside so I assumed he had taken her with him. Then I heard a crash - followed by a split-second of silence...then the "Help, I am in pain!" cry. I flew down the stairs to see Marlee laying in the middle of the living room floor - screaming and frantic. I couldn't figure out what had happened - she was too far from the couch to have fallen off of it, but it looked like she came from the coffee table. Had she fallen off the table? I ran and picked her up, not noticing that I had to pry the camera strap out of her fist in my concern. Later I would find out that Tim placed her in the middle of the living room floor, that she then scooted over to the table and grabbed camera strap hanging from the table, which brought the ancient, 5 lb digital camera crashing down on her, or at least very close to her. We never found a bump or even a red mark, so hopefully it just fell next to her and scared her - but even that is scary enough for me. The boppy pillow is now permanently in the middle of the floor to set her in if one of us has to step away - though soon she'll be sitting up on her own and crawling and eventually walking so there is no more stepping away.
Last night Marlee was crying in her crib, refusing to sleep. She would only stop crying if I leaned over and kissed her cheek and forehead repeatedly...I think because the night before, she was sick, so she was sleeping with me. We were cuddled up and our foreheads were touching the entire night and I kept kissing her cheeks, nose and eyes to get her to sleep.
So last night she just wanted Momma...it was sweet and so sad, I'd lean over and she would take my face in both her hands, all while moaning pitifully. I have a hard time with the affection - I know how I feel about her but I can't even comprehend that she could feel the same way about me. It's like I am incapable of knowing how much she loves me, and it makes me want to give in and just pick her up. But I can't and I didn't, and she slept just fine in her crib and only got up once. Once. She got fed and changed and put right back in her crib, she fussed and cried a bit, so I wound up her mobile and went back to bed, turned off the monitor. It worked.
Marlee also loves to play Peek-A-Boo now....if you put anything over her face, she'll pull it off and smile like mad.
I Need Sleep!
March 01, 2004 - 8:37 a.m.
Marlee finally doubled her birth weight at 23 weeks old. She's also into size 4 diapers! It has to be all the cereal this kid eats - she really puts it away. I wanted to hold off on solids but there's no way I could have held off much longer. She's been doing cereal for a month and just last night we tried avocado. By the end of the week we'll be doing bananas! She'll eat anything - even red velvet cake. Yes, my mother-in-law fed her RED VELVET CAKE. Coming from a family with a history of wheat and egg and dairy allergies, that is the LAST thing someone should have given my daughter. Tim, of course, didn't support me at all when I threw a fit about it, and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. Well I have news for MIL if she plans on being that type of grandma, she can forget watching Marlee any time before she's 3 years old.
I am planning on making my own baby food - and had a little experience with it last night. I cut up and mashed two avocados and a banana, put them in an ice cube tray and froze them...little baby food cubes. It didn't take very long, and all I have to do is thaw it out and feed it to her, so I think when she moves on to more foods I'll continue. I still have a hundred jars of the pre-made baby food, those will be good for daycare and going out. I don't plan on giving her food for daycare until she's at least 7 months or so - I think until then we'll be fine with 2 meals a day.
Marlee is still not sleeping through the night, as a matter of fact I can no longer remember the last time she did. It was some time in January. I'm really starting to suffer from the lack of sleep. I've committed myself to getting her to sleep through by 6 months. If it means giving her a bottle of water when she wakes in the middle of the night, or standing next to her holding her hand while she cries, that's what I will do. Hopefully on a weekend.