TRYING to get used to it :)
May 30, 2003 - 8:47 a.m.
Last night was NO FUN. My lunch didn't agree with me at all and then I had to take the cat to the vet. She pee'd all over the vet and screamed and howled and made wild animal noises and thouroughly stressed me out. On the way home I picked up a chocolate shake, thinking it would settle my stomach. Wrong-o. I spent the rest of the night with my head in the toilet. I went to bed when it was still light out, and woke up sick again. The only thing that I am getting to semi-stay down is Gatorade. And I say semi, because with this reflux issue, everything that goes in is constantly coming back up a minute later. I really have to find some better ways to deal with this.
Thanks everyone for your input on the showers....right now it's in my mom's hands. I laid it down for her how I felt, and hope she tells me what she's feeling so we can get on with this already. Somehow I don't think it would be such a big deal if we were dealing with someone other than MIL.
I'm tired today and soooo hungry but there's no way I am going to attempt food. Unless someone has some chocolate chip cookies. Then it would be worth it!
Heartburn and Showers
May 29, 2003 - 10:24 a.m.
I wasn't expecting heartburn this early in pregnancy. I had it occasionally before I was pregnant and constantly throughout this pregnancy but it's getting so much worse. To the point that I am concerned. What's concerning to me is the frequency, the severity and the fact that I can't get it to go away. I wake up with it now. Breakfast consists of 3 Maalox tablets. Forget orange juice. I can't even look at cheese. There isn't anything I can eat that won't make it worse.
It's not even the heartburn that bothers me. It's the chunks of food constantly at the back of my throat. The puking it causes. It's just strange. I guess it's not so strange, my family has acid reflux problems, I just feel too young for it! I have to call my nurse today and just ask her if there is anything I can do or anything I should be worried about.
Still having morning sickness. Last night was so bad, and I couldn't find my medication. Sleeping is next to impossible but it's the only way to escape it!
Baby Boo wasn't moving too much yesterday that I could remember, so I blew the dust off the Doppler and found out where she was camping. She must have been in a really strange position, my stomach looked more like a Rubric's Cube than a basketball. It had all sorts of angles and protrusions. I found her mushed up with her back pushed against my tummy in the lower right side. Her heart sounded so loud and fast - I started to wonder if the pulmonary issue was really going to clear up on it's own.
Here's a secret: My SIL thinks she might be pregnant! But I am not supposed to know that yet, so shhhh!
In other news, I am worried about a shower battle. Hopefully things are on their way to working out, but one never knows when dealing with mothers and mother-in-laws.
First of all, I realize that showers are a blessing and no one HAS to throw one for me. This isn't about the gifts, and it isn't about me being selfish. It's about what's right and fair.
Let me set this up. My family is small. It's basically just me, my mom, my grandma and my aunt and one cousin for the females.
My in-law's family is HUGE. We're talking 6 kids in each family all the way down the line. Also, my MIL thinks she's the queen of all parties and always insists on throwing any parties or showers at her house. Always at her house. She also invites the entire extended family (many of which don't like me even though I have been in this family for 9 years now).
Every single shower at her house is the same, boring and lame. Everyone comes, sits in a circle, eats cake and passes the gifts around. No games, no fun, just BORING! And it's totally no fun for me, of course, because my sister-in-law got married a year before me and she also had her baby exactly a year before mine. It's just the way things work, so our showers are always going to be identical - except fewer people show up to mine. It's not really worth it to have a shower for my side of the family, but it's not always fair that they have to be lumped in with MIL's showers.
So for my wedding I suggested we just have one shower (in a neutral place) so that both our families could both be involved and it was equal. I was thinking a pot luck, with some games, something to keep people involved. I suggested something unique so it wasn't just a carbon copy of SIL's showers. My mom offered her membership benefits in the township she lives in, so we could get the town hall for an entire day for free. It was the perfect size for the party.
Anyway a huge power struggle erupted between our families as MIL refused to back down and have a mutual shower. She wanted things HER WAY or nothing at all. SIL fully backed her and they both reamed me out for even thinking of it. It was awful and left me wondering just who's wedding it was, mine or hers and SIL. The shower was held at her house, with her family and her ideas. The whole thing left me a little bitter - but it was two years ago and I thought the issue was dead.
When my mom found out I was pregnant again (this will be her FIRST grandchild (MIL already has one - from SIL), she told me right away that SHE would like to host my shower at her house - and it was really important to her. I agreed and thought MIL would accept this since this is what ME, MY BABY and MY MOTHER want. MIL is getting her house remolded and it will be torn up most of the summer, so I thought it would just make sense anyway.
So I asked my mom to plan the shower for early in the summer (in case of preterm labor issues) and she set the date for July 12th. I tell MIL of the date just to warn her of it and she tells me SHE'S planning a shower at her house, with her family for August 9th.
I told my mom about it last night and she is extremely upset, because she went and ordered special invitations and napkins and made a big deal over this shower, and now the only people coming are me, my mom, my grandma and my aunt and one cousin. And one of my friends from high school, but that's about it. My college friends won't come because they all think it is too long of a drive to invite them to my mom's house....
So maybe it's total pregnant talk here - but I think MIL is all about herself. I don't feel like she's throwing this shower for ME and my BABY, it's just another excuse to have a nicer party than my mother. She has more money than my mom, more family and a nicer house, and doesn't hide the fact that she thinks her house is "more fit" for social gatherings. She's had her house remolded about 5 times in the last 9 years (again this summer) and my mom is just now scraping together enough money for a new bathroom.
If I was to bring the subject up with MIL, she'd simply suggest that my family be invited to HER shower. I know it. But my mom already has the invitations, she has the time and the genuine desire to do this for me. MIL is so weird about showers, I don't get it. She refused to let me help for SIL's shower. She had just been through a round of chemo and was sick as a dog, but wouldn't let me get a cake or send out the invitations or decorate or anything.
So what do you think I should do? I don't want to get involved, I really don't need the stress but I can see how much this upsets my mother. And it is just another power trip for MIL. It's the wedding showers all over again!
I'd really appreciate any input on this, I am at a loss!!!
If this was the first time this argument came up, I would most likely give in. But my feelings were majorly hurt last time and this time it's my mom's feelings that are getting hurt.
SIL is being very very very cooperative...she wants to help and thinks the best way to go is to have one shower (impartial to where it is held) but thinks the remodeling could get in the way of a shower, so it would be less stressing to just have one!
Now, a problem: MIL's family is having a family reunion the weekend after my mom's shower. A lot of them have to travel and would only make it to one. Not a big deal? I honestly don't care who comes, the important people will be there already.
Oh well. I know a lot of people will tell me that MIL is out of line. That much is evident. But what do I DO about it? Last time this happened, I talked to her about it and it started a huge war. Then I got Tim to talk to her about it and he ended up telling me to back down. So do I sic my mom on her? Do we just give in? Grrr. Who's kid is it anyway????
This may very well be my mom's last grandkid, and MIL might be having another one on the way!! (Wish I could use that argument!)
Packing and Stuff
May 27, 2003 - 9:54 a.m.
Well I decided it was time to get the hospital bag PACKED. I had a horrible time sleeping last night thinking about all the stuff we need to do before baby comes and ended up having nighmares that it was time to go to the hospital and all I had in my bag was the after-delivery gown and matching sleeper for little Boo.
So tonight I am taking my list and packing up everything that can be packed early. Maybe I will sleep better. Maybe it will make this summer go faster. Ha, not likely.
Yesterday Tim and I walked a few miles to a resort just down the road from us. It was great to get some excercise, but by the time we got back my fingers and hands were so swollen that the skin was all tight and white. It was gross!
I'm having a horrible time with heartburn. It gets so bad that I am constantly puking up stuff and I can feel food and acid in the back of my throat. I've gone through two full bottles of Maalox in the past couple of weeks and I am out again, I really need to get to the store tonight or I won't be able to eat. It seems like it happens after the second meal of the day and continues on until I finally take something for it. Last night I didn't have anything to take (And we had quesadillas for dinner last night - eek!) so I woke up with the icky feeling still there. It's not fun. Especially when I am starving and yet I can't eat because I feel full up to my neck! (Note to self: Apple juice seems to make the sitation worse.)
I have a friend's baby shower to go to this weekend, I'm so looking forward to it! I'm bringing my infamous fruit pizza. Also, I want a pool. Really bad. And a swing set.
Ah, the Joys of Pregnancy *gag*
May 25, 2003 - 7:23 p.m.
I guess the realization just hit me today: It's summer and I'm pregnant.
I don't think those two phenomena were ever supposed to be combined. This sucks! I refuse to wear shorts because no one needs to see my translucently-white skinned chicken legs (I've never been so untanned in my life!) and wearing sandals is no fun because I always have sausage toes by the end of the day. Oh and this is just beginning.
We party hoppped today and I got to compare myself to a few of the other misfortunatly pregnant - and sad to say I was as big as some of those in their third trimester. Maybe that means they're small - maybe. I still had the smallest butt..for that I am GRATEFUL.
I did happen on something that nearly destroyed what little self-esteem I had today...small purple-ish lines on my boobs. At first I dismissed them and thought, eh my bra has been getting a little too tight, it must be leaving marks. When after the shower they didn't disappear - I called Tim in for his take on things. Yep, he says, stretch marks. My first. On on my boobs of all places!?!?!? I'm devastated.
The only thing that will fix this is chocolate cake (except I ate so much at the parties today that I ended up puking behind one of our friends trucks - in his yard of his new house!! Shhhh... but I am still hungry! What is WRONG with me??)