Changes, Growing, Excitement
July 10, 2003 - 4:09 p.m.
So I guess all that worry about being "too small" or the same size as about a month ago - was a complete waste of time. The baby flipped back to the head-down position and suddenly I am huge again. Not only am I huge, but people are commenting. 4 today alone. Somehow, "Wow, you're getting huge -you must be due soon," just doesn't set too well with me. Since I have OVER 2 months to go yet! But, I am a good sport. Or at least I was, thinking, hey, my butt is still in place. Then I discovered that while it has not gotten any BIGGER, it has drooped. Sagged. Lowered. Deflated. Whatever, it's different, and I want it back. Sigh. And I want a boob job when this is over. I don't like the milk bags they have turned into! Crabby whiny insecure me.
Our first childbirth class was last night. It was beneficial, in my mind. Mostly the questions that the other people asked, some of it was things I hadn't thought of before. It opened my eyes to a few things...I really shouldn't have any worries about the BH's I've been having. They happen for a thousand reasons, and they don't hurt anything as long as they aren't regular. Even though they wake me up in the middle of the night, it's no cause for concern. I also was under the presumption that we needed to race to the hospital the second labor began. I figured being over an hour away from teh hospital, by the time I figured out that labor was in fact what was happening, we wouldn't have any time to get to the hospital. After this class I decided I was going to take my time getting ready to go - take a shower, put on a little makeup and blow dry my hair if I can at that point, finsh packing and then head to Tim's mom's house, which is near the hospital. Unless it happens while I am in the city, I don't know what to do then. And unless my water breaks - then we'll see how bad the pain is. I'd like to try to remain epidural-less as long as possible. I've been through pain like this before, and I came out on top. I don't even remember it now...all I know is it was the worst pain of my life, and my only pain medication was a warm bath and later on 2 perkisets. Our hospital doesn't allow water births, but you can be in the birth tub up after your water breaks up until it is time to push, I believe.
I learned that birth plans are encouraged, but some of the stuff that I had on mine probably could be thrown out. I am really rethinking some of my decisions.
I have found that my packing list is pretty dead-on. I thought for a minute that I had too much on the list - but their list was basically the same as mine. I won't have to bring snacks or anything....they have patient kitchens stocked with yogurts, juices and snacks! YAY!
OMG, weird - I have been feeling body parts - but not as clearly defined as the little foot that just poked through the V in my ribs under my breastbone...I went to push it back in and could actually feel the size, structure of it! AWESOME. Now if only that little butt would move out of my ribs....Now that she's back in position I am extremely uncomfortable.
I think someone also had a case of the hiccups today. I wouldn't have known if I wasn't trying to push down on her, but I noticed that my hand was jumping ryhthmically, and not like a kick. I couldn't feel it, I could just see it. How awesome. I am still amazed that there is a little functioning body in there!!!
Eating has become a hassle. There is no joy in my diet. I hate eating something new, then having to wait two hours to see if I can have an apple or refrain because my levels were questionable. Which they almost never are. Only 3 times have I been over 120. And boy, did I feel GUILTY those three times. Especially this last one - because I knew I shouldn't eat pizza. I can't help it. It IS my favorite food! I can eat all I want, normally. For some reason my levels were a little high after breakfast too - which doesn't make sense seeing as how I taylored my breakfast to be strictly protien. Cut up chicken, hard boiled egg and a cheese stick. I DID have a nectarine and a chocolate milk just before I tested though. It just doesn't feel healthy to me at all. My system is all out of whack. It doesn't LIKE all this protien. I am practically a vegetarian - and here I can't have most fruits and vegetables. And I honestly think I am healthy. I am not overweight, my hair and nails are strong and long, my teeth are good, if I was lacking in something don't you think I'd know it?
I am getting excited for my shower - someone ACTUALLY bought something from our Baby Depot registry. I know who the culprits are...but I am really happy about what they got. I won't say any more about it. My mom is excited for the shower too - she told me the games we'll be playing and who's coming and all sorts of fun stuff. I can't wait!
The classes and the girls I have talked to at work are getting me even more pumped about the labor experience. They keep telling me how absolutely awesome our hospital is, and how great their experiences were. It's nice to hear, and I can't wait to be in that position. I actually can't wait to go into labor! Am I strange? Most people are nervous about it. I am soooo excited to just see what it will be like, and get through it. What I AM nervous about it the breastfeeding. I want it to work so badly, and yet there are so many things that can go wrong. I can do it! I can do it!
*sigh* These next 10 weeks are going to just DRAG.
The boobs have grown again. They are achey and sore - and have more lovely stretch marks. At this point, I don't even have a sports bra that will fit....
Only 11 weeks left
July 07, 2003 - 4:03 p.m.
So this weekend we finally bought the closet organizer. We'll work on installing it tonight. I'm excited to get all of baby's things in there (and out of my closet)! That is my goal for this week, along with the curtains (this weekend) and that damned labor bag.
I had an appt with the dietician today. Here I was thinking I was a pretty healthy eater - I guess you're never as healthy as you think. Anyway, even though I have had really great readings with the monitors (only 2 elevated and the rest were low to normal) they are still considering that I have GD and need to keep up the readings 5 times a day. I have a completely new meal plan (one which excludes all fruit juice and limits my fruit intake!!!). Basically I have to have protein every time I eat anything. I am NOT a red-meat-eater so this could be a little difficult. I already eat a lot of cheese and eggs, I've eaten so much peanut butter that I can't stand it anymore, and I can't eat yogurt (fruit). Sooooooo, I've got a lot of work to do.
Be prepared for me to complain just a little bit more. I am having a reassurance in the neck pain from the car accident we were in a few months ago - add to that the back pain from just being bigger and I am pretty much never comfortable. I am starting to really worry that I am not big enough - it seems like my belly has dropped and changed shape but really hasn't increased in size since about 25 weeks. The last belly shots we took look different but my hubby was also taking them from the floor up and like I said, the shape has changed. I can't wait until my appt next week so I can get measured again and make sure everything is ok.
I still have the doppler, but I don't use it anymore because I can feel her move pretty regularly - and my doctor said that even though we can hear the heart doesn't mean something isn't wrong. Lat night I was woken up more than once with some intense BH's. They had me really worried but I haven't had any since - not exactly sure what it was all about, I just woke up clutching my belly and could barely move for the pressure was intense. I was so groggy that I went to the bathroom, went back to sleep and the same thing happened a few more times. I never FULLY woke up and wasn't even worried until I woke up for good this morning. No changes in discharge or anything else though! I did have cramping all last week but since baby changed positions I haven't had those either. Either way I am still nervous about preterm labor so now I know I have to get that labor bag packed and in my car.
Tomorrow is the first prenatal/birthing class. I am anti-excited now and probably will be tomorrow as well - just the way things work when you look forward to something for so long. The same thing with the shower coming up this weekend.
Here's to wishing for gift certificates.
So much for a good mood.