8 Months!
July 28, 2003 - 1:08 p.m.
I'm finally 8 months pregnant! Baby Boo has been moving like crazy the past two days. Her sleep cycles are getting less spaced apart. She's not kicking/punching much, just squirming around and stretching out a lot. Now when I feel stuff, it's both high and low at the same time. I wish she would just get into the go position - I am terrified that I'll bei n labor with a transverse baby!
BUT - I think she's almost ready to come. I thought for sure we were going to have her on Friday - Tim and I ran some errands and as soon as we got home the BH's started. It was pretty consistant to the point that I thought I would have to start timing them. It was really uncomfortable, but it only hurt occasionally. I was drinking water and trying to rest, but every time I stood up it would happen again. Baby was in an odd position, I think that had a lot to do with it. I think she was lying with her feet to my back and her head out - my belly was elongated and much farther out than it has ever been. By the time I went to bed that night she had settled into a better position. I did hear some crackling coming from inside there - so did Tim - and I was hoping all her hijinx wouldn't break my water. I kept thinking, as long as my water doesn't break, we can keep her in there! Two girls that I know that were due AFTER me have already had their babies!
If I remember correctly, this is the 2nd Friday in a row that I've had labor thoughts....
Saturday we FINALLY finished her room. The closet was the major project of the weekend, and I am OH SO PROUD of how it turned out. I just keep going in there and looking at it with all the little clothes all folded and in their place. It has to be the coolest kid's closet ever. I do need to get some wall decorations, there are only a couple of things up right now and it looks bare.
I guess I can't say the room is 100% done - I still haven't made or hung the curtains. But I DO have the curtain rods! I am not in a rush on the curtains because they aren't absolutely essential. I just know I should get them done now because I won't be able to once she's here. It's a simple swag-on-top with panels below design, but it will take some doing since I need to alternate between the yellow fabric and navy fabric. Once that is done the room will look complete.
I will take some pictures tonight and post them up tomorrow morning. Make sure you ooh and ahh over my closet - I designed it myself and went through hell to get it to turn out the way it did. I suppose I should explain that the people who built our house were a bunch of idiots who couldn't find a stud and had rigged that closet together with about 800 nails (in drywall!) and 2x4'. It was so rednecked in there it hurt to look at it. SO now we have everything in there with plenty of room for MORE STUFF!!!
I have packed and repacked the diaper bag - tonight I will unpack my bag and repack it as well. Just to refresh my memory as to wht is in there, reprioritize the contents and make sure it's all there.
This is the fun part.....
I started to doubt myself this weekend - I was feeling so sick, tired and weak all weekend and I doubted that I could handle labor on my own. I really hope that I buck up and get my hardcore attitude back, I need all the confidence in the world to do this!!!
New belly shot coming tomorrow.
Need to get this off my stretched out chest
July 24, 2003 - 3:24 p.m.
Here's to a big "I'm tired of this" vent......I can just tell that something major is going on. Some kind of growth spurt or hormonal surge or something - according to Tim, it started last week Friday. All I know is my patience has completely worn away, my temper is so hot it's on fire. I have cried at least 3 times every day for the past week. I am as big as I think I can possibly get, I have grown out of the majority of my maternity clothes and every time I look in the mirror I swear I am larger than before. The heartburn/reflux is back. The nausea is back. Sleeping is impossible, but at the same time it is all I want to do. I'm feeling the urge to nest but I have no energy to do it. I fell asleep in the baby's closet last night. One minute I am measuring the space and I wake up 45 minutes later. I have had severe food cravings and uncontrollable hunger. The past two days I have had headaches that spring out of no where and linger for hours.
Then there's this continual lump in my throat, and I feel like everyone is being so selfish. Can't they see what I am going through? No, that's the downfall to being a stronger person. Everyone just assumes that because you appear to have taken everything in stride, it doesn't get you down. It doesn't add up. They forget. My SIL told me the other day that she hopes I go overdue, way overdue. I said, that's not fair. She said, oh, it's very fair. Just because she did. Well, her pregnancy was picture perfect, aside from being just a little overdue. So how is that fair?
Someone brought in donuts to work today. The perfectly sticky bakery kind. Well I know I can't have donuts, but they are like, right there! A co-worker says (knowing full-well), "What's the big deal, just have a C-section. Eat the donut." Thanks for the support. It's not just the risk of a C-section, my fricken baby could end up with diabetes. It's torture to have someone just offer it to you, encourage you to eat it when that's all you want. I needed her to say, "Don't eat the donut, think of your baby!"
Oh and then there is this little thing called OUR LAST VACATION TOGETHER - JUST US. Tim could care less about it. Yet he plans a camping party on the sandbar with all of our friends for himself, the weekend of my shower that is out of town. They'll be drinking, jetskiing, doing all the most fun things in the world while I am at a shower where I can't eat the food and I don't like the people. WONDERFUL. And when I ask him about our vacation, what we'll do - apparently we don't have the money for it so we should just not do anything.
I guess he just doesn't realize that this is the 2nd summer in a row that I have been pregnant and I haven't been able to drink for over a year and I haven't been able to go jet skiing or boating or enjoy living on a lake and I haven't been able to go on any of the rides at the amusement parks or be skinny or have nice hair or eat what I want or stay awake for more than 10 hours at a time or relax and not worry about a thing and I can't get to sleep without tossing and turning and having my hips hurt and having my dinner come back to haunt me and I haven't stopped puking this entire pregnancy and maybe she DOES have down's syndrome and a heart defect and dammit, I have STRETCH MARKS on my BOOOBS!!! I know it sounds like I am complaining and I am.
Class Act
July 23, 2003 - 4:33 p.m.
Last night was our third birthing class. We walked in an were the first ones there, a few people were milling around out in the hallway. I saw the birth ball at the front of the room and thought, "I'm going to try that!" Tim and I went up to the ball and I plopped right down on it - not expecting it to be so deflated that I sank nearly to the floor, lost my balance and flew off of it, hitting my head and back on the table behind me. I got up off the floor as fast as a grotesquely pregnant woman can and teetered between tears and laughter while Tim cased to see if anyone had seen what happened. We lucked out - no one saw, and if they did they pretended they didn't. Then we noticed a large maroon mark on the floor - and my hand felt sticky - looked down to see that the vein I had knicked earlier in the day decided to start gushing again and had gotten on the floor and worst of all, on the sign in sheet. I was gushing a lot of blood, a really sticky fluid in large amounts, and the instructor saw me and asked if I needed medical attention. I told her I was just going to wash my hands, as all the people in the class looked at me in horror. As I left she asked Tim if I was ok and needed to see anyone and he said No, I was fine, and all the people in the class gave him dirty looks.
The topic of the class was pain meds. We did more practice with ice and with relaxation and massaging techniques, as well as positions and pushing positions, which I really like doing. I am such a champ at the ice contractions, I only wish they were like labor contractions. She told us that we need to keep practicing with ice and relaxation and it finally hit me that I would probably do well using ice in the labor room as something else to focus on.
Then we broke into two groups and using our BOOKS, which I forgot, discussed narcotics in one group and epidurals in the other. Tim and I were in the narcotics group. We were surprised to find out that out of 15 couples in our class, we are the only ones opting for a natural birth. I am sure because of our age people assume our choice is one made out of naivety. The truth is, I am against narcotics and Tim is against epidurals, so that is our compromise. After weighing all the pros and cons of pain meds, our instructor told us that there is no cons to natural childbirth, aside from the pain itself, and for many the pain is never so much that it is unbearable or unmanageable. Not everyone of course - and I told Tim right off that if I was induced the chances of going natural were less than favorable. So here's to hoping that I go in to labor all on my own.
I was also thinking of ways of self-inducing, just in case, but after what happened with my friend (see baby below) there is no way in heck that I will attempt that. She did nipple stimulation at 39 weeks on, went into labor a day after her due date with contractions so intense that the baby was distressed. They were 2 minutes apart and lasting for 2 minutes themselves. She was in labor for 16 hours like that - since she couldn't dilate past 7cm despite her intense contractions. He was distressed and was taken emergency C-section. The baby ended up with meconium poisoning. He spent 3 days in the NICU with an IV in his HEAD. So I decided against any self inducing methods altogether.
On the way home last night we talked for about a half hour about how excited BOTH of us are about this labor and how we want it to go and all that. It's such a change - it drives me knowing he's supporting me so fully!!!
I am craving something super spicy - with limes.
So close to...what?
July 22, 2003 - 7:41 p.m.
We went to see my friend and her baby at the hospital last night. He's just this tiny little thing - see?
Hard to say who he looks like but he's a doll.
Our 3rd childbirthing class is tonight. I forgot my books and materials for class. This is probably the night we'll be using them, too. Oh well.
I'm in a super bad mood today. It started last night actually. I registered for these awesome canvas hanging organizers for the baby's closet. One was specifically made for a nursery, the five pockets were labels things like onsies, hats, bibs, socks and receiving blankets. Then I registered for a larger, unlabled version. I haven't been able to access them from the web site lately, but it said that they were available in-store, so I went with my Target giftcards in tow to buy them up so I could finish the closet. We're not doing a dresser (because I hate dressers) so I designed the entire closet around these hanging canvas things. I have ton of crib sheets and blankets and burp cloths and onsies and such to store - and I want them quickly accessible and organized.
Since I couldn't find them anywhere, I wrote to Target asking about them and also searched the web site and their stores for similar items. On the web site, they have similar items but all are "temporarily unavailable" and no idea how long they will be out of them. I need to finish this closet now as I have piles and piles of stuff on the floors that won't stay folded for long if my cat has anything to do with it. I got fed up, Target did not answer my request and so I told them I was taking my entire registry offline and going to Wal-Mart. Too bad Wal-Mart doesn't have these types of products either. I am so screwed.
At my dietician appt yesterday, things went really well. I no longer have to come see her as long as I am keeping my sugars down, and eating as much fricken protien as I am. Seriously, I am going on an all carb, all sugar diet when baby is born. But at least I am passing right now.
Long Weekend - 31 weeks
July 21, 2003 - 12:06 p.m.
Everywhere I go I see cupcakes, fruit juices, pizza and cheesecake. Sour gummi caterpillars and vanilla/oreo cookie pudding. I indulged a little this weekend and not only did I have to suffer my own guilt but I also had to deal with my husband's well-meant but not well received comments as well. I had two large spikes (could it have been the Chocolate Shoppe ice cream on the ferry ride home? Or the damn gummies...they were calling my name, maybe it was McDonalds for all I know).
Spent several minutes in tears, including the two times we made trips to the grocery store. I was hungry out of my mind and found myself rationalizing why I could buy a frozen deep dish pizza, or the vanilla pudding and oreos and maybe the bakery special. Ended up leaving with 2 gallons of milk and 2 dozen eggs. I swear just the smell of eggs sends me running to the bathroom. Came back later for peanut butter and sun chips....hey, they are whole grain, multi-grain even! There is just no joy in eating anymore, especially since I have been relatively craving-free until this past week when it seems I was hit with thoughts of Vienna sausages, oreo pudding, Coke and sour gummi worms......and everloving pizza!
I have an appointment today with the dietician. I only hope that my food journal looks exceptable to her...I am so tired of eating the way I do!
Friday I had some lower back pain that was nagging and persistant. Then I started cramping in the front too. I started to worry that it was pre-term labor. All I could think of was that I had left so much to do at work, I hadn't cleaned off my computer....I felt good about the home aspects. We're all packed and ready to go in a moment's notice. I guess I just have to get that way at work too.
The cramps subsided some time that night. They made me nervous enough to bring along my Pregnancy ID card and birth plan to the family reunion we went to on Saturday in Lake Geneva. The backache stayed and got worse throughout the day yesterday but it gone today.
It makes me feel like things could be close....at least I want to hang on one more month. Or just to the end of August.
It's coming up fast!