Breastfeeding 101 and Work and Questions for Doc
August 21, 2003 - 4:08 p.m.
Last night was our breastfeeding class, it was beneficial and I am glad we took it. I'm surprised that Tim got so much out of it. I myself was a little creeped out and more insecure than I expected but he took this head-on just like the childbirth and childcare classes (who are these classes really for?).
There was some great information, some stuff I already knew, and a few things that I did not agree with - but it will be a difficult learning experience regardless.
The instructor was a 3-time and current breastfeeder who said her first son was a horror story in which she was told she didn't produce enough milk, burned out two electric pumps and endured ridicule by her family because at the time, breastfeeding was "out". But she kept at it and successfully nursed all three of her sons and is currently nursing her 8.5 month old. She says she hates pumping and can only get out about 2 oz. from each side but still keeps at it anyway because she works two jobs. She said breastfeeding isn't easy and it does hurt. But once you learn it and establish it - it is well worth it!
In her opinion, breastfeeding is 97% mental and 3% physical. This in itself if comforting to me, because in the past few months I have seen too many of my friends give up nursing after only a few weeks, even days- their doctors actually told them that they were starving their babies and weren't making enough milk. Our instructor seemed to think this was baloney, and if someone tells you that you aren't making enough milk - ignore them and keep trying. I don't think I have the option to give up...Tim is so committed to being my entire support system that he would probably think of it as a personal failure or something....
The more basic you make this, the easier it is, the three things she wanted us to remember was 1) Position 2) Latch 3) FEED ON DEMAND - watch for feeding cues.
She recommends not pumping or introducing a bottle for at least 3 weeks. To some extent I know why this is a good idea. But then again, I see benefits on both sides of this track. Our hospital does not offer breast pumps, because they want you to establish your breastfeeding relationship well before the bottle. THIS MAKES SENSE TO ME but I have talked to too many moms who had problems switching to the bottle in time for them to go back to work. These moms, who have better experience than a class, told me to start one bottle a day as soon as possible. Not to wait more than 2 weeks. One bottle a day, especially with the newer BF friendly nipples will probably not ruin breastfeeding. I know that I want to be able to do both, so I am going to try as soon as I think it's right. This could potentially affect milk supply, so I was thinking about pumping one side while the baby feeds on the other side (because let-down of both breasts is GREAT for supply) or pumping the breast after the baby feeds on it because at first they probably won't empty it anyway. Just ways to get around it. She wasn't a fan of stockpiling milk - probably because it changes so frequently but I do think it would be good to have a little base in the freezer for those occassions, you know?
So that was the class, I have forgotten a lot of it but I think it will come back to me when the time comes. Right now I am battling a 5 day headache, 90+degrees (and it is the heat, believe me!) and whatever streppy- germy thing Tim had going on. Sore throat, run down. I feel like a walking zombie, and it is much much too hot to drink tea or soup or anything.
I am making some slight headway on the things at work. Fortunately everyone here has been trained and though I don't think they will do as good of a job as me, they will at least have the best training packet in the world to guide them through my daily duties. I just have those 4 print projects and a few more Latin American orders to clear out of the system and I can call it quits.
I don't think I am coming back to work on the 10th - the first day after the membrane stripping. I really thought my energy would hold out until the 20th but at this point I can't make it through the days. I am in really great spirits but it is amazing to me how physically tired my body is. I've never felt such a strain before - and most of it could be the heat, dehydration and the sickness....but at this point it will be harder to bounce back so I think, even if I don't go in to labor I won't be coming back to work. Not sure if I will start my maternity leave then, or just take a day off. I guess it all depends on what happens and how much it hurts!
Yesterday I learned that diabetics are at increased risk for placental aging to occur at faster rates - starting now. In this case, some babies are born at 38 weeks with still immature lungs. This is a little frightening so I plan to ask doc about it - some docs require NST's and amnios for diabetics at this stage and I hope those are options for me. We declined the amnio back at 21 weeks but have often thought about getting one once we were past 34 weeks. If I could get one at 37 weeks I think I would - then we would know for sure if the lungs were mature. And if it's really a girl. And if she has any genetic disorders. It's on my list of things to ask the doc, along with asking her when she's going to start doing internals...at my next appt on Tuesday I will be 36w3d. I want her to look over and sign my birth preferences, and I want to know when the GBS swap will be done for sure. I just assumed it would be at the 37 week appt - but some people get it sooner.
Then I plan to ask her how well baby visits are going to go, what the schedule is like. I'll get her to sign my disability paperwork and POOF....we are all ready for baby.
Class.Tonight.And.Stuff.
August 19, 2003 - 4:26 p.m.
Breastfeeding class tonight.
It's our turn to bring a treat - we have 30 different kinds of breakfast/cereal and snack bars. Of course, I can't have any, so I will be eating cheese. Yes, just cheese for me. Because hubby took me to McDonald's for lunch and I peaked out at 129 so now I don't even know if I should be eating dinner. Maybe some beef jerky - yeah that will probably do it.
This baby needs to come soon - because I have been using my impending maternity leave as leverage at work to get people to respect my deadlines. Today I actually said, "And I could be gone tomorrow and then who would take care of this mess?" I think the point got made.
OK, I am off to develop film and learn all about boobs.
I Keep Forgetting How Many Weeks I Am
August 18, 2003 - 4:28 p.m.
Had my first and only "OMG that really hurts" contraction this weekend - we were eating dinner and it actually made me throw down my fork and just kinda sit there all tensed up. I can tell these kind of contractions are going to take some practice!! It lasted a while, the whole time Tim is dancing around behind me saying, "It's not time, is it? Is it time?" LOL. So TV-esque. Anyway it stopped and I was hungry so we just went about dinner and it never happened again.
I have anywhere from 3 weeks to 5 weeks left - and anxiety has really settled in. Not about labor and delivery - but mainly about getting everything done that we need to get done. On the house front, we are still trying to get the remodling finished (we've been working on it since December). It's not terribly bad - just some flooring and decorating to finish. But getting caught up at work is what is killing me. Huge print projects along with some mass collaborations and some piddly every day work - 4 huge print projects, 2 major trade shows, latin american literature shipments and every day work.....when I think about it I start to FREAK OUT... I needed the president's approval on 2 of the print projects, I gave them to him last week Monday - will take me at least 2 weeks once I get approval - and he is GONE on vacation until next Tuesday. TUESDAY! So now I am basically screwed until he gets back - I mean this was initial approval so I can't go anywhere on these projects until I hear from him.
When I think about it I get really tight in the chest and have a hard time breathing. I've had this problem since I was 15 - and I have tried everything from benzoids to behavioral therapy to stop it and really nothing works - essentially I am hyperventilating - but not like you typically see with hyperventilation - My doctor says I take such deep cleansing breaths when I am stressed that it tricks my brain out to think that it needs that much oxygen with each breath - so I end up taking deeper and deeper breaths and not feeling fulfilled at all and then I panic because I think I can't breath. If I could figure a way to both regulate my carbon dioxide levels and relax at the same time it would stop....unfortunately the only sure "cure" I have found is sleep. So I have a feeling until I get all caught up at work I will be dealing with this and I really don't want to do into labor already out of breath....
I actually bought shoes a size larger this weekend, I was so sick of hanging out over the backs of my shoes when my feet are swollen. These shoes are so comfortable it's terrible - if that makes sense. Anyway on Friday I took back some items from our shower and bought the monitor, changing pad, medicine kit and some various nursing accessories. The only thing that I needed that I didn't get was the safety gates - by the way, Baby Depot SUCKS. I like their online registry very much but the store itself - Blech. They only had one gate in the kind I wanted (I need 3) and it wouldn't fit in my cart and when the guy asked if I needed help and I told him I needed 2 more of the same gate and someone to help me carry them to the front, he took off and never came back. I saw him later in the parking lot having a smoke. Forget it - I didn't find anything I liked there except they actually have Avent newborn nipples (Target doesn't) and I bought the wrong ones (disposable instead of regular). Der!
On the baby front - instead of just having feet in my ribs, they are now up under my ribs and in between them. That is uncomfortable - I tell you what. I don't think she's come down at all - there is a large space in between my belly and boobs, but I think she's so big that she's just all over. In total I have gained 30 lbs, doc advises about 10 more, and no more than that. Baby should be about 5.5 lbs herself (oh god!). I have this hopeless feeling like, this is never going to end...these last few weeks are really going to be the test. As much as I want you now, baby, you have to stay in there for 2 more weeks....but then, please please please GET OUT. I'd much rather hold and feed and hold you and spend time with you than be abused by your tiny little feet and elbows - I mean what are you DOING in there, the chicken dance?
I'm having lots of BH's today - probably because I am so stressed and because the pants I am wearing are so damn tight. For whatever reason I am really uncomfortable and I just want to go lay down! I have a headache to boot....oh how I long for maternity leave. Yes, diapers and crying and going out of my mind would be better than this any day.
First things I want after delivery: A box of raspberry toaster strudels and a box of Open hair dye in Copper or Auburn. A bag of Honey Bits and deep dish Chicago style pizza. A nap on my side with no aching hips, feet in my ribs, or a quarter full bladder that still wakes me up every 5 minutes. Whatever I want when we go grocery shopping or just to the gas station - a sticky bun, a donut. Roasted potatoes. Real fudge pops - not diabetic fudge pops that taste like diet soda. Gramma's lasagna, and spagetti, and El Pollo Vino Bianco. And mashed potatoes. S'mores cereal. S'mores. Onion Rings, french fries, frozen yogurt from Culvers. Nectarines. Watermelon. Gatorade - Fierce Green. Cherry Cheesecake. Chocolate Mousse. Waffles and Pancakes with syrup and powdered sugar. Puppy Chow. Sugar Smacks. Sour Gummy Worms. Buttered popcorn. JUICE - cranberry. Chicken Nuggets with honey. Normal functioning lungs. OMG - Wollershime Prairie Fum� and Lindemann's Cabernet Sauvignon. Smirnoff Twisted Five Cranberry. Berry Hooch. Advil. Leinie's Honey Weiss. A Cinnibon. Pirulines. Unsore fingertips. Popsicles. Naturally Rising Crust pizza.
Things I will probably never eat again: Meat. Peanut Butter. Eggs. Tums.