Guess what?
September 17, 2003 - 2:07 p.m.
Hi, it's me, I'm having a baby today (or tomorrow). I've been having contractions since 3:30am and they've gotten to be 2-5 minutes apart. Not very long, 30 seconds, not very intense (I can still type and say unholy words) but hey - I called Triage and they said I'm in labor.
Tim is at work right now but he will be home soon. Everyone is on high alert! I will update just before leaving for the hospital...if I can.
Induction
September 17, 2003 - 6:42 a.m.
The doctor appointment was pretty intimidating. We were there for over an hour and a half � the whole time with the doctor. I�ve never in my life had an appointment last over 15 minutes with her!
So anyway, she comes in, asks Tim and I how we are doing and I blurt out, �We�re at the end of our ropes!� Instantly, she launches into the topic of induction. Because of the diabetes, we have to start NST�s and biophysical profiles and we�re actually a week or so late on those. She says it�s about the time that we start �trial labor� at the hospital. Trial labor is a two part process � you go in one night for cervical ripening, with Cervadil or prostaglandin gel, and go back in the next day for pitocin.
Because of her conference in Atlanta, she�s leaving FRIDAY and won�t be back until Wednesday. She has to see what dates were open at the hospital for induction � and wants to get me in tomorrow for the ripening and Thursday for the induction�.however it is a game of politics �apparently she doesn�t think the hospital I am delivering at would justify inducing me BEFORE my due date because my diabetes has been so well controlled. Also, she doesn�t want to start my labor on Thursday and have to leave Friday with the possibility of the baby not being born yet. So, the next best date is Thursday the 25th. She�s calling me tomorrow with the details.
She through so much information at both Tim and I that we are just depressed and stunned. I had no idea that induction was such a real possibility for us�I really thought that�s why we were doing the membrane stripping, so that it would avoid induction. Tim asked her what the chances were of going into labor on my own and she really didn�t think it was a possibility.
I completely broke down in her office and was just sobbing away. Both Tim and my doctor were hugging me at the same time and it made me feel even more pathetic. She told me she would write me off on medical leave right this minute (because Tim told her that work was stressing me out) but I told her if I wasn�t going to have the baby this week then I needed to go to work. She made me promise to work only 5 or 6 hours a day and to talk to my boss about limiting me to old accounts and one-day projects only�she said the stress is not going to help anything. (And also that the BH�s, despite their intensity and frequency, don�t do anything for labor except prepare and stretch the uterus, just so you all know!)
She said she�d do the stripping again today anyway, I found out that I am 3cm dilated and only 30% effaced. Last week she did say �fully� so that ticked me off�.she meant I was completely soft but not at all thinned out. She was happy that I was losing the plug but still didn�t think that it made much difference, my cervix was less posterior than the week before and she said I had made great progress and if I could just efface a little more I would be great to go for induction.
I guess the problem with all of this is just that, it�s over a week away, and we had plans for our neice�s very first birthday party on Saturday the 27th. If we�re induced on the 25th that means we wouldn�t make it. I�m just so depressed over that�.I don�t know why.
I really wasn�t prepared for the change in our attack�I mean I had realized that we were going to have to do things differently because they can�t risk going too post-date, I just kinda hoped to go into labor on my own. And this week. Tonight. Soon! None of this would really be a problem for me if my doctor were in town, then we�d have the induction on Sunday night. It just plain sucks that we can�t do it then. She really wants to be there though, and I want her there and Tim wants her there. After this appointment I realized what a wonderful doctor she really is, and how much she cares and how personal she takes every little thing.
So now I am just in limbo, finding out the date that we can get in the hospital. Tim doesn�t want it to be tomorrow, because of the fact that she could have to leave before baby gets here, and because it just kinda got dumped on us so fast we don�t know what to think. It�s one thing when you are prepared for induction and can go in with a clear head�it�s another when you are waiting for the call and it could be any minute (and it�s not like real labor in that way either) depending on how busy the hospital is. That�s another thing�even if we schedule for next Thursday � if the hospital suddenly gets busy we could get bumped! Ugh.
Sorry to be so down, I know the sitch isn�t that bad at all, I mean, the end is near. It�s just like a sucker punch because we don�t have any choices in the matter and have to go along completely with whatever is thrown at us. I don�t like that.
NOW�.I�ve been having contractions and backache all night long. The real kind. They are 30 fricken minutes apart. I am staying home from work and walking and walking.
And don�t worry, I am stupid but not dumb. I won�t do the nipple stimulation. My friend did that, remember, and her baby ended up in the special needs nursery for 3 days because he was so distressed during labor that he had meconium poisoning. Very very bad stuff!!!
Oooh, don't get your hopes up
September 16, 2003 - 11:20 a.m.
Still here! I feel like we're so close and so far away at the same time. Yesterday I had continuous Braxton Hicks contractions all day long, some promising back cramping and general not-feeling-wellness. I bet if I would have gone walking right away when I got home I could have gotten something going, instead Tim and I ate dinner and curled up on the couch for a nap. We slept for 2.5 hours and when I woke up things had majorly slowed down. Then I bounced on the ball for a while, did some laundry and climbed the stairs, around 11 we went for a walk down the street and finally, did the deed and went to bed. It all should have worked. I mean, we are doing it all right!
I go back in to see my doc tonight to have my membranes stripped - again, and I swear I am going to make it work this time. I'll walk, I'll jump, I'll stand on my head if I knew that would work. I'll do the castor oil....and I know, Candace said not to....but I gotta do something. It seems like I got it going on in one place and it won't hook up with the others....since tonight's "procedure" is supposed to jump start the labor hormones, all I gotta do is jump start the contractions. Last time before having this done I was having some good contractions, even painful ones, but immediately after, they stopped. A few days later I lost my plug so I knew I was dilating and effacing a little....so where is the miscommunication, body??? Since I've been having some good contractions again today, I just have to keep the stubborn child with her head in place and work it for all I got. I wore my running shoes to work and I plan to walk as much as I can.
Regardless of what happens tonight, I am NOT coming to work tomorrow. I might spend all day with Edy's sugar free ice cream and tears streaming down my puffy face, but it will be better than being here. I can't concentrate, I can't get comfortable, and I just don't feel like working anymore. Maybe a day off would do it. I've started grinding my teeth in my sleep, I couldn't figure out why I was always waking up with a toothache and a horrible headache and neckache, but it's all coming back to me now (I used to wear a mouthgaurd in college because I was such a stressed out psycho I would break my chompers off in the middle of the night, I can't believe I am starting to do it again!).
On the other hand, I feel like they are going to have to rip this child out, probably sometime at the end of September because my doctor is at a conference in Atlanta Sunday - Wednesday of next week. She wouldn't schedule anything while she's away and I doubt I could get her to jump this weekend. Maybe if I beg. Maybe....
I Don't Care Anymore
September 15, 2003 - 1:28 p.m.
Anyway, I've been timing my "contractions" since 7am. Not very intense but I am having at least 5 to 6 an hour. They only last about 20 - 30 seconds. It started with an occasional backache that has been getting more and more noticeable. Some slight cramping in the last hour...Wouldn't you know she's in the funny sideways position again today... the only time I ever get any contraction action. Her head is near my left hip and her butt is pressed up in my ribs. None of this feels to be anymore than practice....it's just notable since I haven't been having much action lately.
And as I was typing this, I decided to have a dose of caffeine (I know, bad me) and all of a sudden a turning point... no more cramps, no more contractions. Well way to get excited over a little dehydration!!!
I woke up sick again this morning. Tim and I both thought we might be getting sick again. Headaches, neck aches, swollen glands, sore throat, cough. Isn't this a lovely way to enter sleep-deprived motherhood? What is WRONG with me? (I find myself asking this too many times a day, lately.)
My eyes are stinging and burning from my late-night-breakdown...Tim wanted to go to bed and I refused because going to bed meant waking up in the morning still pregnant and having to go to work. I somehow rationalized that if I didn't go to bed, it would be ok, and I couldn't do this anymore, and blah blah blah. Stupid hormones.
Tim decided as he was dropping me off for work that he's ready for the baby to come. He worked all day yesterday cleaning the cars, getting the car seat bases back in, burning brush piles and sawing things, all the things he wanted to get done before the baby got here. So now he's ready. Too bad that won't work!
Tim spent some time with our daycare people yesterday, they came over while I was napping and sat around one of the brush pile fires and had a beer. Tim said that Sheila was really looking forward to meeting our little package and loves to get newborns, as they adapt better to daycare than when they come as toddlers or older. She said she's got her own little discipline system and a time-out policy...and it's all good with me. I mean the woman has raised over 30 children in 22 years....
I need a good cut and dye-job. I need to be unpregnant. I need labor! I begged and begged for the labor fairy to come last night...I've already decided it's not worth asking the little bugger if she wants to come out because she'll do whatever it is that is the opposite of what I want. I have only myself to blame for this child's stubborn bull-headed-ness. Sure her dad can be a real stick in the mud but aint nobody hold their ground like me. I can just SEE the issues this will bring in adolescence. "I want these A&F thongs." "No fricken way!" "I want them, and I am going to get them, and you can't stop me, all my friends are wearing thongs nowadays." "Fine, you can wear them, on your head every day for a week. Now you're grounded!"
Ugh. It's only 1:30 and I am ready to go back to bed. For good.
"Yup! I'm here!"
September 15, 2003 - 8:22 a.m.
You know what's even more annoying than the people that come and talk to you when you are anxiously awaiting maternity leave? The people that just walk by your office and stare at you, then walk away. Maybe they think they are being nice by not "bothering" me, but I feel like an animal at the zoo or something.
This Sucks!
September 14, 2003 - 10:46 p.m.
But I don't want to go to work tomorrow!
Don't Tell Me I Have to go to Work Tomorrow?
September 14, 2003 - 6:52 p.m.
So tired of waiting. Basically because there is nothing else to do. We went to Wal-Mart today and spent over $50 on diapers. We had all these coupons for different brands and types, so we got a bunch of size 2's and 3's. We know the 3's are safe sizes....the 2's, well they make me a little nervous.
Tim is convinced that he is going to be diaper natzi, and not let me change her unless the kid is dripping. He was traumatized by the fact that his brother took off a clean diaper to bath his daughter and didn't save it, instead put a new one on. So now he thinks he knows ALL about diapering. This, from a guy who has changed one (half!) of a diaper his whole life!
No really I am glad he's planning on being so involved.
I've been really uncomfortable all day, and I just can't explain it. We're both so out of room. My ribs just ache and ache.
I was getting all excited this morning because my cat wouldn't leave me alone. Everywhere I went she was trying to get on top of me and purring and kissing at me...you know they say animals can tell impending labor and so I thought she thought something was up. Then she bit me in the face and ran away...so much for that, huh? I guess we'll just have to take our cues from something else.
So?
September 13, 2003 - 11:42 p.m.
Still no baby! No more plug, no more cramps, no more dancing!
And officially, no more shaving. I can't possibly reach all the places I need to reach in order to be hair-free. And it looks like they'll be laughing at my trim-job at the hospital...oops.
It rained all day so we haven't been able to go for our walks...I've been climbing the stairs and bouncing on my ball...and if my floor weren't spotless I'd get down and scrub it, Joanne! I am exhausted.
Tim and I had the BEST day today, we just sat around and watched movie after movie and ate all day and it's the first day we've spent alone (in our underwear, hee hee!) allllll summer. It was all great and fine until BIL and SIL showed up with our neice.
See, I like it when people CALL when they come over. And we live 30 miles from ANYWHERE so it's not like you can just "stop by". It's a completely voluntary, planned out thing. Ooooh, I was so pissed. We both had to go running upstairs (you know, the underwear thing?) to get dressed and I stayed up in my closet and cried because the only pair of pants that fit were DOWNSTAIRS.
Anyway their coming broke up our cozy day and we've been sitting at our computers (on separate floors) ever since. I took a bath and attemped shaving...now I am going to go back to the ball and maybe do somemore stairs before I collapse in a heap in my bed. Only crap! I forgot I took all the sheets off the bed...
No Baby
September 13, 2003 - 9:22 a.m.
39 weeks.
No baby yet, but at least I've been contracting a little.
Thanks for everyone's sweet notes, I appreciate them dearly!
It's raining so I can't walk marathon circles down my street and back, so I think I'll just stay inside and pretend I'm skinny again. What could BE more fun? ;)