New Goals...
January 9, 2003 - 2:33 p.m.
Temps went up again today. FF said that my chart was tri-phasic. I can see the dip and the rise...but I can also feel the back cramping and other assorted AF symptoms.
Still planning to buy a few tests tonight on my way home from work. Tim should be home tonight.
I will test tomorrow if my temps go up again.
I'm glad I am not charting as I go next month...I'm also starting baby aspirin with this next cycle as per this article, as well as the grapefruit juice and green tea. I'll probably also make Tim's world by BDing every day instead of every other so we get a fresh made batch every day. We typically don't plan BD which is nice, it just works out to every other day for us anyway. I did notice we had a friskier month when we got pg the first time...so maybe that's the trick.
I guess my goal this month is to go through the motions, not thinking about TTC and just enjoying what I hope to be the last 9 months of "just us" time.
Whatever Happens to Willpower?
January 08, 2003 - 12:04 p.m.
Tim is out of town.
That always means that I end up making plans to clean the house or do the laundry...but end up driving to Walgreens for a pregnancy test.
Screw it.
I made my bed today. (That counts, right?)
9 dpo
January 06, 2003 - 2:39 p.m.
9 dpo. No implantation signs. Not holding out any hope. On to cycle 9! Today I am so dizzy it's hard to do anything. I think Tim and I have the flu.
I have a plan for the upcoming cycle: I'm totally not going to think about the objective. I'll still temp, but I will just write the temps down in anotebook until the end of the month and enter my notes in my chart. That way I won't have a chart toobsess over. But, later, if I do have questions, I will be able to input the data andcompare to prior charts. It's just something I am trying. This cycle I was increasingly more desperate. If I keep going like this, nothing is going to happen! So next month, my goal is to be normal, do things like I would typically do and not section my life into days, temps and 2 weeks.
To wrap up this cycle, FF didn't detect ovulation so I overrode my own coverline. It's a bit low but it doesn't matter to me. I know from 8 months of charting what my post-o temps are.
I don't have any tests, but if things suddenly start to look up on Friday I will ask my friend to take me to Walgreens to get a test. I'll test Saturday if at all.
If I Had it All
January 03, 2003 - 4:21 p.m.
My temps are still down. The PMS seems to have eased up a bit, no more cravings (aside from Hunan Chinese but that is an everyday occurance) and a little less irritibility. For some reason I am mega-nauseous today and was a little yesterday too. It's too early for pregnancy symptoms but I think it might have something to do with the PMS. I typically get nauseous at this point in my cycle.
If anything though I am feeling better about this cycle. I was a good girl post-o and I've been taking me pre-nates like clockwork. Aside from the X-rays, I would have less worries than I did last cycle.
Even though it's so obvious to me... I'm still holding out hope.
**Sidebar: I blew up at work today. So I guess the irritability factor is still there.Stupid PMS.
With or without you?
January 03, 2003 - 4:16 p.m.
*sigh*
I am somewhat past ovulation. I have no idea when it happened or if it happened. My chart says no, my temps say maybe. We timed it right if it did happen...but I don't think we were fruitful.
For one thing, in the middle of o, I broke my arm. I seriously think I might have o'd the day after...but I don't think that means much because I had x-rays that probably killed all the little spermies anyway. I read somewhere that if a guy gets x-rays his spermies are messed up for some time...even the new ones that he produces, so I assume its the same thing.
Aside from that, the monster PMS started in New Year's Eve. I spent the entire day in a depressed funk, crying, yelling, and alternating between potato chips and chocolate covered raisins. So, another wasted month.
So help me if I am not pregnant soon....(I haven't figured out how to stop the updates emails from American Baby.com...I keep getting emails saying "Your Baby is due in 13 weeks!" There is nothing more depressing. Well maybe the day that Tim asked me why I take prenatal vitamins, and I told him it's to make sure the baby is healthy and doesn't have birth defects and he said, "Well it didn't help you last time." He still can't get over that we will never know what happened.)